Date a girl who shares posts about dating a girl who reads. She reads, like a lot, but things get in the way and life is more than just books to be perfectly honest. She’s the one who ordered a copy of Anna Karenina from Amazon, second hand so it has the feel of well thumbed pages. Maybe she will thumb them too. She’s the one who flipped through the first few pages of Sense & Sensibility, before getting distracted by whatsapp to go to a movie. Social life, hey! Date a girl who shared that post about dating a girl who reads because she won’t take your ignorance of the works of Susan Sontag and Sylvia Plath lying down. She read that one poem once, and feels the same pain of loss and disillusionment when she gazes upon the bland walls of her room from her bed, the still summer air hanging heavy upon her mind, body, soul and iPhone. She’s the one who looks so great in that instagrammed pic her friends took when they went to the quaint, otherworldly cafe on the other side of town, and ordered an orange mocha frappucino. You know the pic I’m talking about. Her hair in obedient disarray, those thick-framed large lens glasses she bought at the flea market – for reading purposes – on the edge of her nose, wearing her favorite long woolen sweater, with the book lying open in her hands, a cute bookmark sticking out. Date her, because everyone knows reading is best done at cafés with friends.
Date a girl who shares posts about dating girls who bake. Sure, baking is a consummate art which requires not only skill but regular practice. But she baked some cupcakes once a few weeks ago, and everyone said she was a natural! Just to be sure, tell her she’s a natural, it will make her day. She’s the girl who likes feeling carefree about her eating habits, and loves the idea of having the sweet tooth that a baking hobby implies. She gets excited when she sees ovens and baking powder in the same place, and remembers fondly what else the post about dating a girl who bakes said about her. Date a girl who shares posts about dating girls who bake because even though she’ll never refuse dessert, she might still let you have the larger piece.
Date a girl who shares posts about dating a girl who travels. She would like nothing more than the lone rucksack on her back, and her trusted hiking boots for company. She wishes she had the chance to live frugally, and indeed never have a single place she calls home, because she’s a citizen of the world and borders neither define her nor restrict her. She likes to feel light footed and independent, hair flying in the wind, and Raybans whipped out right in time to catch the sunshine. So what if her idea of shoestring budget is a little different from other people? She travels light, as the sparse set of blush, lip guard, lipstick, eyeliner, moisturizer, hand lotion, perfume, heels and spare cocktail dress can testify. Talk to her about the jungles of Vietnam, the beaches of southern France, the snowboarding in the Alps, the safari in central Africa, the markets of Thailand. Don’t talk to her about the economics behind getting to all these places though. It’s not her fault she had to buy tickets to fly 1000 miles sipping juice and watching movies, before she could whip out her backpack and really get going. Those are things that can’t be helped when you are a free spirit of nature, instantly creative and artistic because a blog post said so. Date a girl who shares posts about dating a girl who travels, because surely she can’t complain about mere youth hostel bookings when you book the trip to Paris. Look her in the eyes – if she can be made to sit still for a minute, that traipsing nymph of adventurous spirit! – and check closely for the lust for wanderlust. If it flickers, make additional reservations for a candlelit dinner in a five star restaurant, preferably in view of the Eiffel.
Date a girl who shares posts about dating a girl who does any of these things (Or more! Or nothing!), because she loves empty words which stroke her ego, falsehoods which matter little, as long as the picture painted be beautiful. So what if the articles are veritable Bella Swans of the writing world, creating shallow, characterless spaces, for gullibility to delightfully squeeze itself into? She’s the girl who’s read the books other articles have told her to read, and has many lists of many more. She’s the one who baked those cookies that one time, and won’t hesitate to do it again every few months. She’s the one who later loves the pictures she hated her friends for clicking on holiday, because she forgot to pose and does look like a traveler.
Date a girl who shares a post starting “Don’t date a girl who …”, because she doesn’t want to tell you what you should do. Not that she wants you to do anything you don’t want to, you understand? If you don’t want to, then don’t. She doesn’t care. She shouldn’t have to say everything in so many words every single time anyway. Passive aggressive QED.